#random variable

[kayleerowena]

new random haunted house generator just dropped!

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[thecannonfodder]

Why is there so many horse posts that are about isat and I have no idea where they are???

Explanations please!!!

Update:Found out!!!

[transboyhalo]

I don't watch Foolish often but istg every time I do open his stream he's breeding those fucking horses. Almost every single time. Doozers how do you deal with this

[youcanthandelthetruth]

Experimenting with creating a mini art batt, trying to spin up some fun weird yarns for my mom to weave with.

[lasvariablesdemaru]

Reacciones

[elinciarune]

Finished Ichiya’s route and my mind has been going haywire with how much I’m thinking about him.

This is more of an appreciation post than an analysis or a review, I guess? Either way there is SO much to unpack that I don’t know if I will give his character justice. So…spoilers ahead :’)

Ichiya starts as this seemingly ‘fake’ guy who spouts ridiculous nonsense at every chance he gets, in an obviously desperate attempt to get Hibari to love him. Though even when he still donned his mask, the desperation and anxiety were palpable and were slipping faintly here and there through the first board and the common route. Thing is, Hibari has her own tough mask she also wears to protect herself from her fears and anxiety, that made him reach a point with her that he couldn’t keep up with the fake persona. The way Hibari and him are like different sides of the same coin forced both to gradually bare the ‘ugly’, raw inner realities they were struggling with within themselves.

For Ichiya though, it was more rattling, because he was dealing not only with severe anxiety, but also with major depression and extreme lack of self worth…so, for him it was a real challenge to ‘change’, it was something very nerve-wrecking for him. Yet, he was determined to fight his own inner demons and to be more honest with both himself and Hibari.

It was especially challenging because Hibari is part of the very system that destroyed his self-worth; yes, she’s a victim of it, but to be able to be with her meant that he needs to face the same political structure that caused and is causing his anxiety and that is actively influencing how Hibari herself is dealing with him.

In a way, it was a lost battle from the start. All the odds were against him.

Yet, even though it was tough to watch, he tried his best to do everything to change.

After the first breakdown onwards, he continued to fight his fears harder and harder to be able to be very honest with Hibari, and to love her purely for who she is. It really felt he loved Hibari genuinely, but, the catch though? The fact he was still deeply scarred, that he subconsciously was still desperately wanting to be with her because he ‘doesn’t have anywhere to go’, he still believes he’s worthless if he couldn’t get the person he loves to love him back, he still wants to escape from his brother’s shadow and run away; and he subconsciously knows he can’t even run away. He put himself in a condition that is shackling, so even though he’s tried his best to work within these shackles, it backfired.

Again what complicates the matter is that the whole situation is not in his favor. As I mentioned the politics surrounding his and Hibari’s families only add so much more shackles on him. So this only fuels his desperation and anxiety more.

But till the point before Hibari rejected him after their last date, he still had hope that his efforts and raw emotions will reach Hibari.

The tragedy though is that Hibari herself was very scared of breaking the status quo. Ichiya was way too much unconventional for her. She knew he was genuine with his efforts, but it wasn’t enough for her to break from her fear of ‘change’, fear of being abandoned, of rejection. Whilst Ichiya was actively trying to latch on this opportunity to change (despite it arguably not really healing him), Hibari is afraid to try at all.

So Ichiya gets rejected, and his whole world literally crashes down. And honestly I saw this coming miles away. The writing was on the wall the whole time. He already is depressed. He only got a temporary boost in his mood because he felt a bit of hope. But he never healed for real. I was not surprised at all with how he gave up on life itself at the end. The ‘stunt’ he did might seem over the top on the surface, but imo that was the inevitable conclusion. His depression was palpable, and he laid his whole self, his fears, his past, his core personality, laid everything for Hibari to see. But it did not work at the end. So it was very understandable he’d feel that nothing is left for him.

His whole monologue in that chapter before the final one screams he’s suicidal.

And even though he did not hate her, he felt deeply hurt by her. And what does he do about it? He hates himself even more and more.

And then here, while he is indeed distraught with how Hibari couldn’t see his efforts, it’s more of a depreciating comment against himself, how he always fails, how he’s too out of place for the society he lives in, how he’s not worth it.

I feel the authors were deliberate in making his endings especially bittersweet (and more bitter than sweet🙃💔) compared to the others. As long as Hibari and Ichiya remain part of the ‘traditional’ world they grew up in (the same one that was the cause of their scars), their relationship will have many challenges to go through until they really become able to heal and be healthy for each other.

Okay I talk a lot but yeah I love Ichiya. He’s messed up and needs serious therapy (not marriage 😂💔) to heal him. He needs a totally new environment with a new purpose, with new people.

He’s a really kind and empathetic person. He was supportive of the others in their routes and genuinely loved their friendship. Despite being in his head too much sometimes, he is able to understand others and help them out. He’s a hard worker and is really honest. I think he deserves to live a more relaxed, slow paced life where he shines best and will be appreciated for who he is.

[fortune-maiden]

Random TGCF AU of the Day

This started as PX ramblings in the original vs the revision but between my want for some kind of SWD & PX relationship and a certain realization about PX’s revised backstory…

Pei Xiu vs the Black Water Arc

Pei Xiu’s revised backstory is pretty tragic. A bright shining star and kind happy person, Pei Xiu’s life is ruined when he joins a martial arts tournament and shows up a general’s son that was favored to win the thing. His family is convicted on false charges, his parents and younger siblings are exiled somewhere and PX himself is pressed into the army, the only one of them the right age for it.

He then spends the rest of his life doing whatever it takes to move up the ranks so he can get save his family culminating in his massacre of the Banyue kingdom… and his reward is finding out they’d all died years ago :D

(and also Banyue’s death)

I imagine canonically he gets some semblance of healing in the form of a good mentor and CO in Pei Ming (not enough to maybe not murder innocents in an incredibly convoluted plot to save his girlfriend but well…) but with a backstory like that I feel like there’s a certain scholar from Fugu he might also feel some kinship with

So he does his homework. Pei Xiu is smart-ish and puts together some pieces about the scholar from Fugu and a certain low key ghost king and hatches a plan.

Rather than the convoluted murder plot, he’ll get the ghost king to save Banyue. And in exchange he’ll be the ghost king’s eyes and ears in heaven and help him with whatever evil plots he’s plotting

he_xuan.exe promptly stops working.

On the one hand this is the most absurd thing he’s had to deal with in centuries and he has half a mind to kill Pei Ming’s idiot descendant on the spot. PX only figured out that he’s the scholar from Fugu, nothing about the fate swap or the earth master, and he’d prefer to keep it that way.

On the other hand, He Xuan does, in fact, feel bad for Banyue, and PX has three things going for him:

1. As Pei Ming’s protege, he has an easier in with Shi Wudu

2. He’s a better (read: less of a dick about it) source of funds than Hua Cheng

3. He’s good with the bone fish

[katzdxd]

one of the dumbest things that USUM didn't do is make it so you can find the opposite version exclusive pokemon and evolve cosmoem to the opposite version legendary in the reverse world. like CMON that could've been so cool and useful-

[pv1isalsoimportant]

Boolean valued models are so funny because why do you act like "half-witness" is a completely normal thing to say.

[ghostzzy]

i do think death is bullshit unfortunately

[dicketysplit]

friends, I have treated myself to a tefal food chopper

[elinciarune]

Varibari Ichiya route spoilers///

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Shion in Ichiya’s route caught my attention with how he felt understanding of him since the beginning? And the more Ichiya showed his vulnerable side in front of the rest, Shion imo was the most empathetic towards him? It is subtle but I cannot help but see this.

Yes Shion is very good at reading people and he’s been supportive of each other guy in their respective routes, but in Ichiya’s it seemed he was even more like that?

In a way from a thematic perspective it makes sense though, the core motivation of each is similar, only difference is the approach and how they went about it. Ichiya wants to be accepted and loved for whom he is and is willing to do everything to gain this love, while Shion wants to give all his devotion and love to one person and for his life not to be ‘aimless’ in a way.

So I feel Shion felt Ichiya’s desperation and understood where he’s coming from. Even his advice to Hibari in regards to loving Ichiya when she was still hesitant felt the most on point and heartfelt.

Bonus, but also the way he was concerned for Ichiya and Hibari was refreshing to see XD

Also it caught my attention that after Ichiya’s first breakdown, Shion was the one with the most grounded and thoughtful comments to have when anything happened between Hibari and Ichiya, like I felt he was the least sarcastic and actually took the mess happening with Ichiya seriously.

I have a bad habit of overthinking stuff so take all this with a grain of salt XD

but still I did like the parallels all of them had with each other, there is so much to them that I feel a replay would be a totally new different experience to playing the first time 😭

p.s.: It’s lowkey funny how Ichiya and Hibari being different sides to the same coin actually would make Shion a good match for Ichiya in a way ARKSNSHDBDHX

Please the moment this idea crossed my mind I was screaming and grinning like an idiot no way I can unsee this now XDXDXDXXD

[undefeatednils]

Stuff in tags, only wanna semi-scream into the void

...

[bas-rouge]

Starting Dogcember day one! I think breed clubs should hire me to do their illustrated standards because I'm about to bite every club without an illustrated standard

[megah3rz]

ive finally gotten back into an art flow after months of nothing!! and clip studio just decides to bug out on me and fucks it all up 😭😭😭